Months ago, we knew that April 16th was going to be great. With both the musical and Kill Bill Volume 2 opening, how could it not? I also knew that TUPS (the Trinity University Players), our liasion between the kids in the drama department and the professors, would be holding a Dionysus Festival on this same day celebrating the arts, music, and drama. After all, Dionysus was the god of fertility and wine, so a college festival in his honor was just a matter of time.

I honestly thought it was going to be incredibly lame and had intended to avoid it like the plague. However, a comrade of mine, Harper John Jones-Hermerding, expressed interest in having a public screening of the Bohemian Films classic "Emo Farm". Though we've had over 20,000 downloads worldwide, we've never had an actual audience, so I leapt at the opportunity. Scott, eager to see how people reacted to the film, also came to down to Trinity on the afternoon of the festival.

There were skits, dancers, singers, and Emo Farm, but they ultimately proved to be just appetizers for the main course that was the Phallus Parade. Somehow, TUPS got the genius idea that everybody should decorate phallic symbols and then march around school with them. People went all out, decorating their phalluses with various obscene slogans (but honestly, how can something be considered obscene when it's written on a phallus?). Others adorned theirs with brick patterns in the visage of Trinity's great phallic symbol: the Bell Tower. Not to be outdone, I made a whopping four phalluses, one for each of the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

My creations.


"The Pollock Phallus" as Michael Duhan so eloquently called it.


One fan, in honor of Emo Farm, created an Emo phallus, complete with a frowny face and tears, as Scott displays.


We put our artwork on display in Phallustine for all to see.


Harper was having a little too much fun during the parade.